Why Are You Still Single?- A compliment or ignorance?

single and with a heart

“I don’t get it. Why are you still single?”

I hear these words often. Maybe some of you do too.  But they came, more recently, from a guy who I really, really liked. So when the words were followed by, “You’re beautiful, you’re smart, you’re a sweetheart… Is there something you’re hiding under there I don’t know about?” I smiled, I giggled, I swooned, and blushed.

I took it all in as a compliment, because surely, that’s how he intended it to come across, right?

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Absence Does NOT Make My Heart Grow Fonder

Lonely teen girl sitting on white floor and looking down

Absence does NOT make my heart grow fonder. Have I already written about this before? Well, here it goes again then, but this time, louder. It seems that some guys didn’t quite hear me the first time.

I used to think that there were certain qualities in a guy that I was looking for. You girls know what I mean- the “list”. The one with all the physical and emotional and spiritual traits of our ideal guy.  Over the years, tall, dark and drop dead gorgeous got shoved down and replaced by authentic, honest and ambitious.

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10 Reasons Why I Cannot Online Date

10 Reasons Why I Cannot Online Date:

Disclaimer; I have tried it, it didn’t work for me, but I am not mocking those who have done it or are still doing it. I actually want to Hi-five those it worked for, because that’s what I’d love to hear. I would have loved to be proof that it does work, and I would have no qualms telling people I met the guy online. But, it just never even got past the first or second date for me, and even those were a little dicey. 

online-dating-horror-stories

1) My imagination runs wild and no matter how much I try not to, I envision the person on the profile to be something they are not. And then when I meet them, what they are, or what we are like together just doesn’t work for me.

2) The moment someone described online dating as “fun because it’s like people Ebay,” my stomach sank. I have never been a huge shopper, and shopping for people just makes people sound like they are worth less than they are. We are priceless. There is no shopping for us, got it?

3) Online dating seems to be full of people wanting non-monogamous relationships, and I think that it really encourages it. Because you could be writing to ten people at the same time online, so why not do the same in real life, right? Uggh  Again, not dissing non- monogamy for those who it works for, but it’s totally not me. I do appreciate all the honesty in people’s profiles however, where they just come out and clearly say that’s what they want.

bad date.jpg

4) I’m sure that some of the “sweetest, most sensitive” responses or messages I got online were not actually from the guys who were shown in those pictures or profiles. I think they could have been women, or men that didn’t look anything like their fake photos, or married men bored of their lives. Just a hunch, anyway, especially when they don’t seem to ever have time to meet in person.

5) Many people online seem to want to write endlessly and not actually do anything in real life. I like writing but I’m not looking for a penpal. Hello???

6) When I think of how some of my friends have been on the same sites as I have been, and that we could possibly be dating the same guy at the same time, or even at different times, and not even know it, I feel totally disgusted. lol! I am looking for a romantic relationship. I don’t need to mess up my good friendships in the midst of that search.

7) I am a hopeless romanhopeless-romantictic who would love to meet a guy at the bank line or in a grocery store or at a coffee shop, just because it was meant to be, and not because OkCupid says we have a low enemy % compatibility. What does that even mean???

8) I am a writer and so I tend to get a little overly fascinated by online profiles NOT as possibilities of potential mates, but for possibilities for potential characters in a crazy story idea. You should read some of the stuff these people share. It makes for amazing writing material, but full-of-drama relationship material. (as in NOT relationship material at all)

9) The time I would spend looking through profiles, meeting up with dates, and learning time and time again that this is so unnatural and not me could be used on activities I love, activities I know ARE me.

10) If he’s out there, he’s going to find me, we will find each other. We don’t need a computer to search out millions to do it. I don’t want to be so tired out from all the computer searching, and online dating trials and failures that by the time I find THE ONE, I won’t have any energy or excitement to give to him.

So look out world, because someday soon, I’ll be telling you the story of how I will find my guy the old fashioned way.  I hope he’s listening right now, cos I might need a little help in making it happen.