October 13, 2017 at 10:27 pm (authenticity, courage, Dating, Dream Guy, Heart, love, Relationships, romance, truth, value)
Tags: absence, attractive, be there, consistency, Dating, downer, Heart, most important, number one, sexy, show up, traits
Absence does NOT make my heart grow fonder. Have I already written about this before? Well, here it goes again then, but this time, louder. It seems that some guys didn’t quite hear me the first time.
I used to think that there were certain qualities in a guy that I was looking for. You girls know what I mean- the “list”. The one with all the physical and emotional and spiritual traits of our ideal guy. Over the years, tall, dark and drop dead gorgeous got shoved down and replaced by authentic, honest and ambitious.
Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment
October 20, 2016 at 9:03 pm (Babies, Being in the moment, connection, Fear, friends, Gratitude, Heart, Laila, Mom, Moments, mothers and daughters, Simple Things, simplicity, value)
Tags: Baby bliss, beauty in simplicity, everything new, friends, Laila, little feet, Mom, mothers and daughters, Mothers are the best, Simple Things, Touching toes, Value of mothers
Gratitude Journal- Day 9- October 18, 2016.
Baby Bliss
☆ Tiny toes
☆ Sleeping soundly on mommy’s chest
☆ Rubbing her little red eyelids with her iddy biddy hands.
☆ Eyes lighting up at the sunlight beaming through the blinds.
☆ Looking at everything as if it is all so new and magical. Big blues eyes.
☆ Smiling, smiling and more smiling.
☆ Biting mommy’s hand without any teeth.
☆ Holding her own feet
☆ Warm and cozy onesie butt resting on my forearm. Haha! Warm and cozy head and ears against my cheek.
☆ Having Renee as a friend all of these years. Who knew that a dance article about romantic relationships would lead me to find one of the best friendship relationships of my life? And seeing this beautiful friend of mine cherish moments with her beautiful little daughter made me smile so deeply.
☆ Spending an afternoon with Renee and her little baby girl- reminding me to focus on the little things. The simple things. Because they always end up being the most beautiful things.
☆ Mom, you knew how to focus on the simple things. I wonder how you took care of us and raised us all by yourself. Was I ever laying on your chest the way Renee’s baby was laying on her mother? I imagine you didn’t get to spend enough time with us- as much as you wanted. I never got to tell you that I understand. That you were doing so much for us, I don’t even know how you managed that. I wonder if you ever got a chance to lay on your mother’s chest, as a young child?. Little baby Laila. I would have liked to see that. My mom being protected, loved, rocked and nurtured the way she deserved. Time went by too fast. Your time with your mom, my time with you. If I could have been given any of those moments back, I would have cherished them more fully.
Thank you for being my mother.
Thank you to all the mothers out there who give so much to their kids- from carrying their child in their bellies, to giving birth, to raising their kids so selflessly, to all the sacrifices they make each and every day for days and years on end. And thank you for sprinkling that little touch of motherly magic on us that only a mother can do. Nothing compares to you.
Leave a Comment
October 13, 2016 at 1:26 am (Honesty, online dating, Relationships, Uncategorized)
Tags: Don't do it, Hopeless romantic, Monogamy, Old fashioned, People Ebay, Searching, The One, truth
10 Reasons Why I Cannot Online Date:
Disclaimer; I have tried it, it didn’t work for me, but I am not mocking those who have done it or are still doing it. I …actually want to Hi-five those it worked for, because that’s what I’d love to hear. I would have loved to be proof that it does work, and I would have no qualms telling people I met the guy online. But, it just never even got past the first or second date for me, and even those were a little dicey.
1) My imagination runs wild and no matter how much I try not to, I envision the person on the profile to be something they are not. And then when I meet them, what they are, or what we are like together just doesn’t work for me.
2) The moment someone described online dating as “fun because it’s like people Ebay,” my stomach sank. I have never been a huge shopper, and shopping for people just makes people sound like they are worth less than they are. We are priceless. There is no shopping for us, got it?
3) Online dating seems to be full of people wanting non-monogamous relationships, and I think that it really encourages it. Because you could be writing to ten people at the same time online, so why not do the same in real life, right? Uggh Again, not dissing non- monogamy for those who it works for, but it’s totally not me. I do appreciate all the honesty in people’s profiles however, where they just come out and clearly say that’s what they want.
4) I’m sure that some of the “sweetest, most sensitive” responses or messages I got online were not actually from the guys who were shown in those pictures or profiles. I think they could have been women, or men that didn’t look anything like their fake photos, or married men bored of their lives. Just a hunch, anyway, especially when they don’t seem to ever have time to meet in person.
5) Many people online seem to want to write endlessly and not actually do anything in real life. I like writing but I’m not looking for a penpal. Hello???
6) When I think of how some of my friends have been on the same sites as I have been, and that we could possibly be dating the same guy at the same time, or even at different times, and not even know it, I feel totally disgusted. lol! I am looking for a romantic relationship. I don’t need to mess up my good friendships in the midst of that search.
7) I am a hopeless roman
tic who would love to meet a guy at the bank line or in a grocery store or at a coffee shop, just because it was meant to be, and not because OkCupid says we have a low enemy % compatibility. What does that even mean???
8) I am a writer and so I tend to get a little overly fascinated by online profiles NOT as possibilities of potential mates, but for possibilities for potential characters in a crazy story idea. You should read some of the stuff these people share. It makes for amazing writing material, but full-of-drama relationship material. (as in NOT relationship material at all)
9) The time I would spend looking through profiles, meeting up with dates, and learning time and time again that this is so unnatural and not me could be used on activities I love, activities I know ARE me.
10) If he’s out there, he’s going to find me, we will find each other. We don’t need a computer to search out millions to do it. I don’t want to be so tired out from all the computer searching, and online dating trials and failures that by the time I find THE ONE, I won’t have any energy or excitement to give to him.
So look out world, because someday soon, I’ll be telling you the story of how I will find my guy the old fashioned way. I hope he’s listening right now, cos I might need a little help in making it happen.
Leave a Comment
November 1, 2014 at 1:19 am (Acceptance, authenticity, connection, courage, creativity, Dating, diaries, dreams, emotion, Freedom, humor, inspiration, journals, literature, making space, memoir, therapy, truth, value, writing)
Tags: appreciation, Arts Club Theatre, beautiful world, being alone versus being lonely, Blue Box, Carmen Aquirre, connection, courage, good date, good dating, Granville Island, self confidence, self love, taking yourself on a date, your own company
I interrupt the recent series of Unfortunate Dates to tell you about a good one, a really good date that just took place a few days ago. And… I advise you to go on it too!
A couple of days ago, I was taken to the exact place I wanted to go, at the exact time that was right for me, with company that allowed me to be myself, AND food and entertainment that was just my style.
Who was this amazing date you ask???
…..
tun ta da dun….
It was … ME!!!
What do I mean?
I mean, I was my date! – You heard me. (The picture of the couple was just there to fool you).
I took ME (myself) on a date, and it was actually an awesome night. I highly recommend you do it too! No silly, I’m not saying that YOU should take ME on a date too, but that you should take YOURSELF on a date! (unless of course you are a charming, funny, handsome guy that knows just how to treat me. Then I would gladly accept you also taking me out on a date, but that’s a whole other blog post).
Anyway, back to the topic at hand. You’re distracting me.
Where were we? Oh yes, taking yourself out on a date. I believe it is something everyone should do, whether you are single, in a relationship, even married, and especially if you’re not sure what your relationship status is (in that case, you might really benefit from
this even more).
I know, I know. Isn’t that kind of sad, or even pathetic, you’re thinking? Because really, if you’re out alone, well, doesn’t that mean you are lonely, and a loner, and a loser who just plain doesn’t have any friends? RUBBISH! That is just a bunch of baloney. I have great friends, and sure, I’m single. But sometimes, I just want to do my own thing. And after the other night, I hope that whether I’m in a relationship or not, that I remember to take myself out on dates more regularly.
Why? Because it is adventurous, good for the soul, is the best way to get to know yourself, and it is fun! It grounds you and reminds you of how you want to be treated, and it gives you an excuse to go out and dress up and spend a night exactly the way you want it to wherever you want to go! There is a difference between taking yourself out on a date because you’re lonely and down on yourself- like you have no other choice- versus taking yourself out on a date because…. it’s fun and you know you’re worth it and you’re CHOOSING it intentionally. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment
September 11, 2014 at 6:04 pm (authenticity, blogging, connection, courage, creativity, dreams, emotion, inspiration, lover of words, making space, therapy, truth, value, writing)
Tags: connection, inspiration, possibilities, souls, truth, Walt Whitman, writing
Leave a Comment
September 2, 2014 at 8:37 pm (authenticity, connection, courage, emotion, friends, making space, muse, truth, value)
Tags: caring, competition, flight, fly, Freedom, friendship, jealousy, men, parties, supportive friend, trusting, wing woman
Last night I went on a date, … but,… it wasn’t mine..
Let me explain.
A friend of mine had been writing to a couple of guys on a dating site. And one of them had invited her to a party at his place. It was a gathering of his friends for his birthday. “Bring your friends,” he suggested in his message.
My friend was not used to going to parties of people she didn’t know. “I’m not always the best in social situations like that,” she told me. I disagreed, and felt that she’d be fine on her own. But she hadn’t met this guy in person yet, and she didn’t really know what to expect. So finally, she asked me if I would be interested in joining her. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment
August 13, 2014 at 2:12 am (authenticity, characterization, connection, courage, creativity, emotion, humor, inspiration, muse, therapy, truth, value)
“What does it mean to be crazy?”
It’s a question Paulo Coelho explores extensively in his book Veronika Decides to Die. It’s about a young woman Veronika, who attempts suicide, but ends up in a mental institution instead. And through her time inside the institute, she ends up realizing that part of her problem, why she had lost her will to live, was that she never did crazy things- crazy out of the ordinary, everyday life she was leading. Everything was always the same for her, to the point where she wasn’t feeling any emotions any more- not happiness or excitement, but not even sadness or hatred. But once she spent time with other patients who were thought to be crazy as well, Veronika was free to express herself without inhibition. And who were the real crazies, the ones in the mental institute or the ones on the outside, was called into question. Because through her experience of trying to end her life, Veronika finds reasons to live.
Is it crazy that I spent most of the day finishing the book in my hotel room when I could have been adventuring in a new 
city? Is it crazy that sometimes the worlds created in our imagination can seem more inviting than the real ones around us? But that these worlds, imaginative as they be, can also move us to do real and grand things? Is it crazy that the author of the book- Coelho himself- was put into a mental institute by his parents because they thought his obsession with art was insane? Is it crazy that this same author, without me having even met him, has changed my life forever? And he continues to change it with every new word I read of his? Is it crazy that such a genius was imprisoned and tortured, yet he made it out of all of that only to become one of the best writers in the world? Who is really the crazy one? The one who believes and perseveres, or the one who shuts him down and tells him he cannot achieve his ‘crazy’ dreams?
I couldn’t believe when I just heard that Robin Williams, one of the funniest and most talented actors that I can remember, recently passed away. And he was believed to have died by suicide. To me it is crazy that someone who entertained millions, and made so many people laugh, could have been so down about his own life that he didn’t think it worth living. I think it crazy that sometimes, we assume we know what is going on with someone, when in reality, we might have no clue, because we are taught to hide our real emotions. I think it is crazy that it is often the masks we hide behind to protect us that actually hurt us more than we realize.
I think part of the reason we loved the characters that Robin Williams played was because they were crazy, or had a little bit of craziness in them. They were unique, and fun, different and courageous. Yet in real life, we encourage people to be the same, to act ‘normal’, to fit into what society portrays as sane, to be complacent, and avoid standing out.
Veronika, Coelho, Williams and so many others, including all of us, deserve to be a little crazy sometimes. As long as it does not involve unnecessary pain or hurt towards others, I think changing things up a little, doing something out of the ordinary, or something new, keeps us enjoying life, and finding our true selves, and feeling free to celebrate our individuality.
Be crazy- not crazy foolish, or crazy destructive or crazy cruel. But crazy courageous, crazy cool! Do something crazy today that moves you to be your real you!
Leave a Comment
August 8, 2014 at 3:43 pm (authenticity, connection, creativity, inspiration, lover of words, truth, value, writing)
Tags: art, beauty, dilemma, expression, India Arie, life, writing, Writing Life
“I’ve been too afraid to make a choice, ’cause I’m scared of the things that I might be missing.”- India Arie
Although in this quote, India Arie might not have been referring specifically to the choice between writing and living,… I think it sums up the dilemma I often struggle with: being scared that the time I spend writing is time lost LIVING.
I “write” all the time. Not always on paper, but in my head- when I’m talking to friends, while I’m watching movies, while I am sleeping, as soon as I get up, and while I am driving. It doesn’t all get scribbled down, but the stories start formulating in my mind, the lyrics build up, and the poetry emerges, at least the beginnings of it. Sometimes they get lost, or I am able to jot down some semblance of the original thoughts once I am home or somewhere where I can comfortably record what I remember. Sometimes, it comes out the way I hoped or even better, but other times, MOST of the time, it just doesn’t sound the way I imagined it would on paper. And then I have to muster up the courage to just let it go, and have faith that it will turn into something if I just give it a chance.
This can be magical and beautiful. But many times, this realization is overwhelming- the amount of time I spend creating for writing, and thinking about writing, on top of the actual writing. And the amount that gets lost between thought, ideas, and putting pen to paper. And then I wonder should I be OUT there, being part of the stories, living my own story, instead of trying to paint a picture in words of half stories or past experiences and broken memories whose truths and fiction I can usually no longer distinguish?
I am looking out of the 36th floor of this beautiful high rise apartment right now, from a living room that is all made up of tall glass windows. And the streets are already filled at 8:15am, with cars and and people, lights and living, and an energy and movement that I think I want to be in. Yet, I am standing in front of a computer screen, trying to gather my thoughts, which I still think are coming out not at all the way I expected. Am I just writing my life away?
But then I remember that when I AM out there, among the world of the “living”, all I want to do is be IN somewhere- a coffee shop, a quiet cabin, a quaint park with a wooden bench, or a new city- to be inspired, to carve words into creative images, and to connect with others by sharing stories and poetry that touches hearts or speaks to a stranger.
The world is moving but can seem so disconnected sometimes. And then I recall what keeps me conne
cted, whether I’m in a foreign place, or alone exploring around home, or unsure of where to go next- words. Words from songs, words from signs, words from novels, words from other story tellers who carved a space in their outside living to allow others to share in their experiences. That’s what connects me. These little scribblings on paper that say something, that dance across the page in a rhythm that reminds me of the harmony existing all around me.
And then it hits me- To live or to write? I don’t need to choose one or the other. They both enhance each other. Without the experiences I have while living, I could not have material for writing. And without writing, I would not be able to reflect and see the depth and beauty of the life I am living.
Leave a Comment
January 22, 2013 at 9:21 am (authenticity, connection, courage, creativity, diaries, dreams, emotion, inspiration, lover of words, making space, muse, poetry, therapy, truth, value, writing)
Tags: 2013, dreams, empowering, expression, real, rebirth, release, resolutions, truth, voicing
Thank you Nadine Stair for first writing your “If I Had My Life to Live Over” poem years ago. Thank you Wendy McHardy for posting it on your fridge way back when we were in high school or sometime back then. And thank you to the universe for having the poem find its way back to me, in a way that I could get inspired not just in reading the poem but in creating my own. I love that this poem gives me a model and a kind of license to continually write and rewrite my own version… of the poem, and of my life 🙂 (To learn how this idea began for me- including Stair’s original poem- and how you can make your own “If I Had My Life to Live Over” piece, click here: Resolution: To become what you might have been).
Here it is:
If I Had My Life To Live Over by Tasleem Ria
If I had my life to live over
I would have less head and heartaches
and more lavender bubble baths.
I would escape to a cottage by a lake,
resting my feet and rejuvenating my writing mind.
If I had my life to live over
I would spend more time at airports,
soaking in the excitement of a new journey
and meeting people from all cultures and continents.
I would travel to the foreign faces and lands that call to me in my dreams,
and would be able to speak many languages, fluently.
Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment
October 2, 2012 at 9:12 am (authenticity, blogging, connection, courage, creativity, dreams, emotion, friends, inspiration, poetry, truth, value, writing)
Tags: action, art, blogging, camera, career, connection, counsellor, creative, cyber space, for real, inspiring, internet, Leo, life, links, make believe, Nadine Stair, poetry, Sabrina, sharing, soul, why blog?, writing, yoga
“Sometimes I wonder if what I put out on my site is meaningful to people…” wrote Chris, a fellow blogger and friend of mine. Boy, could I relate, because the thought runs through my mind every time I put pen to blogging paper, or should I say finger to keyboard?
Being an effective blogger is not easy. First off, sitting in front of a computer pouring out some of your most personal ideas and insights takes courage, faith and patience, and it can make you, or at least me, feel crazy at times. Most people who blog do it to share something that is of real importance to them. We reach out to tell cyber space about something that we feel strongly about, something that has real meaning for us- whether it’s about our dearly loved pet, or our convictions on recycling, or the stories of our travels through Europe, or our new, creative business ventures, or the photographs we dare to display to the world, in order to reveal the unique way in which we see it.
Whatever it is, we make a decision to put aside the time and energy towards opening up our experiences, in posts that get sent out to anyone and everyone to possibly stumble upon, even when we are not around to witness their reactions.
But besides the reactions that people might have towards the writing, the bigger question always hovers ‘WILL anyone even find this?’ And if they do, who are these people, and will they even care about what I have to say? It’s the not knowing that can be both exciting and frightening at the same time. And sometimes, when there isn’t much of a sign as to whether any of what is being posted is having an influence, I find myself questioning whether my time could be better spent. Sometimes.
Read the rest of this entry »
9 Comments
Scribble it Down 