Baby Bliss- Gratitude Journal – Day 9

October 20, 2016 at 9:03 pm (Babies, Being in the moment, connection, Fear, friends, Gratitude, Heart, Laila, Mom, Moments, mothers and daughters, Simple Things, simplicity, value)
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Gratitude Journal- Day 9- October 18, 2016.

Baby Bliss

tiny-toes

☆ Tiny toes

☆ Sleeping soundly on mommy’s chest

☆ Rubbing her little red eyelids with her iddy biddy hands.

☆ Eyes lighting up at the sunlight beaming through the blinds.

☆ Looking at everything as if it is all so new and magical. Big blues eyes.

☆ Smiling, smiling and more smiling.

☆ Biting mommy’s hand without any teeth.

☆ Holding her own feet

☆ Warm and cozy onesie butt resting on my forearm. Haha! Warm and cozy head and ears against my cheek.

friends

☆ Having Renee as a friend all of these years. Who knew that a dance article about romantic relationships would lead me to find one of the best friendship relationships of my life? And seeing this beautiful friend of mine cherish moments with her beautiful little daughter made me smile so deeply.

☆ Spending an afternoon with Renee and her little baby girl- reminding me to focus on the little things. The simple things. Because they always end up being the most beautiful things.

value-of-a-moment

☆ Mom, you knew how to focus on the simple things. I wonder how you took care of us and raised us all by yourself. Was I ever laying on your chest the way Renee’s baby was laying on her mother? I imagine you didn’t get to spend enough time with us- as much as you wanted. I never got to tell you that I understand. That you were doing so much for us, I don’t even know how you managed that. I wonder if you ever got a chance to lay on your mother’s chest, as a young child?. Little baby Laila. I would have liked to see that. My mom being protected, loved, rocked and nurtured the way she deserved. Time went by too fast. Your time with your mom, my time with you. If I could have been given any of those moments back, I would have cherished them more fully.
Thank you for being my mother.

Thank you to all the mothers out there who give so much to their kids- from carrying their child in their bellies, to giving birth, to raising their kids so selflessly, to all the sacrifices they make each and every day for days and years on end. And thank you for sprinkling that little touch of motherly magic on us that only a mother can do. Nothing compares to you.

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How Apartment Hunting Is Like Online Dating

August 7, 2015 at 11:16 pm (connection, courage, creativity, Dating, dreams, Freedom, funny, home, making space, simplicity)
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apartment huntingSitting in my new apartment, I know there are corners that still need to be fixed- like the cabinet door that is loose under the kitchen counter, and the drawer where my utensils are that gets stuck sometimes.  There is the issue with the water spitting out too much onto the tiles outside the bathtub after I shower, and the sun beating down so strongly that my living room oftens feels more like a hot yoga studio.  But I am typing away at my computer, relieved that I’m here and settled for now, because it was only a couple of months ago that I was on a crazy search which I thought would never end- a search for a place to live.  It was frantic, disappointing and exhausting.  And it dawned on me the other day that running around looking for apartments reminded me of something else that frustrated me so much, something that I vowed never to do again. That something is online dating.

What does online dating have to do with looking for apartments you ask? Well, actually, I have found that they have a lot of similarities which I must share with you now.

Both online dating and apartment hunting …  Read the rest of this entry »

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What Are Your Moments?

August 26, 2014 at 6:58 am (connection, creativity, emotion, inspiration, muse, simplicity, songwriting)

Purple trees, hundreds of people laying on the grass behind me, and the sun slowly handing over its glorious light to the woman on stage.

We were Sara Bareilles’ ‘Little Black Dress’ concert- and I was mesmerized. There was something magical in the air at Marymoor Park. At first, I was just getting glimpses of it- from the picnic baskets, to the busy tents, to the rows of lawn chairs lined up in front of us. Bareilles even came out in jean shorts and tank top to say, “Hi. I’m Sara!” before the concert even started.

My friend Karen and I ordered some delicious pizza, got comfortable in our seats, and were so excited to hear our favorite songs from our favorite artist.

Little did I know that it was a new song of hers that would touch me so deeply that even today, weeks after the concert, I can’t listen to it without tearing up.

“She used to be mine” gripped me from the first few lines- “Most days I don’t recognize me.” As usual, Sara Bareilles’s words spoke to me as if she could read my mind. Or maybe she pulled out thoughts and feelings in me that I didn’t even realize I had, that I had shove away. Bareilles painted such a vivid picture of this ‘waitress’ in her story that I felt like I knew her. Or maybe I could just relate to what she was feeling.

I felt it so much, that I think I held my breath from the first word of the song until the end. And I felt the tears trickle down my face throughout. I tried to hide them at first, wiping my cheeks with my sleeve, but by the middle of the song, they were coming so fast I just let them flow. I wondered if Karen, who was sitting next to me, knew I was crying. If she did, she never said anything about it.

And I never told her, or anyone else, that that was my moment. I didn’t know how to describe it. It was so overpowering but private, and I wouldn’t have known how to explain it in words. I mean, if I had any doubt if it was worth it to drive all the way out to Seattle for an outdoor concert, that moment erased them. And it lives on, every time I listen to Bareilles’ song.

And I remember wondering what made the concert worth it for Karen. What was her moment? What about the little girl who sat a few seats in front of us and was shaking her hips and shoulders with so much enthusiasm? What was her moment? What moment captivated the stage crew or the people in the front row? What was the moment that Bareilles herself would remember the most that night?

We all have moments in our lives that change us, that influence our next steps, our next decisions, and our perceptions on life. Even when we are in the same room together, or sitting in the same park listening to the same outdoor concert on the same Tuesday night, we take different things with us. I wanted to know what memories each person was going to take with them that night.

Moments that speak to us are what make each person’s story unique and exciting. It was particular moments of a waitress’ life- baking pies- that inspired Bareilles’ song in the first place. Moments colour our worlds in ways we may not even realize. I know that “She Used to Be Mine” will always bring me back to that magical moment in Marymoor Park when the stars were out, the trees were illuminated, and the air was filled with the ringing of a beautiful story told by a woman in a little black dress on a shiny big black piano.

What are your moments? Which ones stand out to you and give your life meaning?

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How to Write A Plot Outline- by Glen C. Strathy

November 3, 2011 at 8:08 pm (characterization, connection, creativity, fiction, inspiration, simplicity, writing)

I am so glad I found this information! It is so helpful and so clearly laid out. Thank you thank you thank you! Just wanting to share it all with my readers as well.

How To Create A Plot Outline In 8 Easy Steps -By Glen C. Strathy

Here’s an easy way to come up with a brief plot outline for your novel.

One of the most powerful secrets to creating plots that are emotionally compelling is to incorporate the 8 Basic Plot Elements. Starting with your story idea, you only need to make eight choices to ensure the plot of your future novel hangs together in a meaningful way.

The best part is that you can make these choices and construct a brief plot outline in less than an hour.

Sound intriguing? Then let’s get started.

Read the rest of this entry »

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Straight from the Heart

June 5, 2011 at 2:52 am (authenticity, characterization, connection, creativity, fiction, inspiration, literature, simplicity, truth, writing)

“I am so touched by your comments. You are so generous with your words.” This was the response I got from a friend Zahra Efan, after I completed a feedback form in regards to how helpful I thought her coaching services were.  Zahra is a business coach, helping to support women build successful businesses and guiding them in personal development as well.

I realized almost instantly, that it was so easy to praise Zahra for her efforts and give her positive feedback, not because of my skills as a writer or my use of words, but because I was simply stating the truth. And the words just spilled out without much thought because they were exactly what I was feeling. 

Zahra’s whole business is based on the truth; she encourages her clients to stay true to who they are, and to build their businesses upon their authentic selves. She teaches her clients how to find this self and to share their true passion with the world.

Part of Zahra’s work involves sharing her insights on her website and blog.  The funny thing is that Zahra doesn’t have a writing background, yet her writing is deep and expressive because it is coming from a place of truth; it is “heart- centered”, to borrow Zahra’s phrase.  She reinforces how she works with “heart-centered” female entrepreneurs.  But she herself understands this all too well because Zahra believes in, and models her own business on, the idea of listening to the heart when mapping out and persuing one’s goals and dreams.

It shouldn’t have been any surprise, therefore, that Zahra’s answers to the questions in the Characterization Experiment I conducted a couple of months ago were also very genuine and heart-centered. And she reminded me of the importance of this truthfulness, this HEART in writing.

“Putting my feet up and having a warm cup of tea” was Zahra’s response to what she looks forward to doing when she gets home – so simple, yet so easy to relate to because of its truth and realism.

Sometimes, I think writers can get so worked up over creating something so unique and creative, that it they can take it too far and make the details too complex and hard to believe instead of imaginative.  As I mentioned in an earlier blog entry, Writing Truth, I think some semblance of truth, even in fiction, is necessary to give the writing more validity. The writer has to at least believe it. Even if the events or plot didn’t actually happen, the feeling or the idea behind the experience has to have some heart, or truth in it.

Zahra’s responses were just as true to herself as she teaches her clients to be to themselves and their work.  Even when she was asked what her fears were, Zahra honestly replied that that was too vulnerable a question to answer.   Ironically, to me, that was a great response.  She could have made up a quick reply just to put something down. But instead, she openly admitted that the fears she may have weren’t something she was ready to share yet. I admired her for that.

Her response to what ice cream flavor she would be- “Cotton candy – soft white and pink- with different colored sparkles on top…” was fitting because, as she explained, the different colors represent “life’s magical, synchronistic surprises, from a spark of wisdom to exotic joy.”  This is what Zahra reminds her clients to look for, in any situation- from joy to pain, to anger and love- that there are lessons to be learned.   She reminds her clients to be grateful for, to listen to, and to celebrate the range of experiences, as well as the magic and surprises, that come out of them.

Looking back at some of the other responses to the Characterization Questions, I realized that there were also other participants of the experiment who celebrated the simplicities of their life, and stayed true to their personalities in their answers. 

Linda was one of these.  Her genuine, giving, yet also romantic nature came through in all her answers. I liked the detail of the “abstract soapstone sculpture of a couple embracing” on her nightstand, in and amongst her books and other items. The spool of thread and needle was intriguing as well, maybe for its small size or the curiosity it built as to what it was going to sew together. Even the description of her “tea –stain” birth mark on her wrist was simple, yet I could picture it in a scene… something tender, or delicate-  to add a little mystery to a particular character. All her descriptions were appealing because they were real, and fresh, almost innocent in their choosing.

Hema also stuck to her true self in her answers. In describing what “her character” had on her nightstand, she too listed some very distinctive “Hema like” items: a journal, lip balm, rosequartz, citrine, and Eckhart Tolle’s book The New Earth were some.  And I should have guessed that the first thing Hema looks forward to when she gets home is being greeted by her little dog Belle. She also revealed her great sense of style in her answer to what type of shoes her character would be wearing- Loubotins- black high heel pumps with red bottom soles.  I have to admit I wasn’t familiar with them, but when I looked them up, I thought, Whoah! I now understand the obsession!  Haha!  As always you have great taste, Hema!

Again, it just reminded me that there are some characters that need to just be who they are, be the simple true people that we can relate to, that we see and hear from on a daily basis.  Imagination is great, but when the characters become too far from the world we’re used to, it makes it hard to want to pick the book up and continue with the story, or to even want to find out what happens to these characters.

Zahra E., Linda and Hema brought me back to see that it is OUR stories, the real and true ones that we live, that people want to read about. These are the familiar stories that we can connect to as they seem to speak of us, and to know us somehow.  And maybe sometimes simply stating the truth is the easiest way to move a story forward, in writing,- novels, poetry, articles-  or even just in life itself.

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Sometimes “less” really IS more!

April 7, 2011 at 8:45 pm (characterization, creativity, emotion, fiction, inspiration, lover of words, making space, simplicity, unclutter, writing)

“I saw an organizational expert on Oprah the other day that said that all flat surfaces – floors, counter tops- should be clear or clutter free.”  That was part of my friend Zahra S’s response to the spring cleaning question in the Creating Characters Writing Experiment . 

I loved how she cleverly used that response again a few days later when answering what her character has on her bedroom floor.  “Nothing.  Flat surfaces need to stay clutter free!”

The funny thing is that it didn’t just remind me to clean up my shelves and make sure I clear off my bedroom floor a bit more, but… to also clean up my writing.

We are taught over and over again when learning to become “better” writers, that we  need to describe in depth, and include details, and vary our vocabulary.  I have repeatedly taught my students about the importance of this in my own writing classes.  And these are all great pieces of advice, necessary to create lasting pictures in a reader’s mind.  But Zahra’s response reminded me of something we forget to mention: the truth is that some of the best pieces of writing I’ve read, some of the best novels even, include lines that are simple- simple language, simple vocabulary or… as Zahra put it,… clutter free.

Sometimes, these lines only consist of a couple of words, even just one word.  And sometimes, it’s simply a description of what ISN’T there, like Zahra’s response…. “nothing.”  Saying what isn’t there is sometimes just as effective as saying what is.   And describing objects, people, rooms, and settings with a minimal amount of words or details can also provide a lot of information to the reader. 

This is not the same as simply editing a piece of writing to make it concise.  Instead, a conscious effort to minimize what is actually being said is also important.  It’s the “less is more” idea.   Less words, less detail.  But this can create more of an impact, more clarity, and also more  intrigue in some cases.

If a whole novel consisted only of long, elaborate descriptions, without the more clean, simple and clear pieces of information, the story and the words might appear too busy, without something to focus on or catch your attention. 

It seems like such an obvious thing to factor into my writing, but I often forget.  I am such a wordy person, I mean, look how long it has taken me just to say what I want to say here in the first place- you don’t have to use a lot of words to get something across. In fact, sometimes, it is the more concise and clean descriptions, the ones that say “less” that strengthen the piece, and break up the  more detailed information.  The combination of the two can make the writing much more powerful.

That is why another friend Samir’s answers also stood out to me.   When  asked what was on his character’s sidetable, Samir answered “cell phone.”  I had to do a double take at first, as if I thought something was missing, because I am so used to my own, often drawn out,  descriptions. And then I realized that I really liked the response- so simple, and short.  And really,  it could tell a lot about the character if it was used in a piece of writing.

Afterall, a character that might only have a cell phone on his nightstand probably has a completely different personality than someone who, let’s say… has candles, a book on meditation, and a rosary on their nightstand.  And the fact that the writer would choose only this one item to focus on could say a lot too, about the traits he wants to put out about the character, and about what he wants the reader to focus on.  There’s also a kind of mystery in not saying too much. It makes the reader want to know more.

My favorite was Samir’s answer to the question “Who does your character tell his secrets to: “Wifey!” That was it. I loved it.  Just one word, but it carried with it its own enthusiasm and sweetness to it.   Choosing the perfect single word is something I really need to include in my own writing, especially in my dialogue between characters.  When I’m reading a novel, or a piece of writing, the in-depth descriptions do appeal to me. But it can be easy to get lost in them, until the author includes a sentence that is made up of only a word or a couple of words.  If the word is chosen carefully, it can definitely stop me, and grab my attention. 

And that’s what happened when I read Samir’s answer to the question about his character’s fear.  He just typed two lonely words in his email… “Dying early”.   It was an abrupt answer very fitting for the abrupt and scary idea behind it.   The words didn’t need any more elaboration. Such powerful emotions in such a small answer.  Makes for powerful writing as well.

Zahra S and Samir. Thanks for the lessons.  I’m actually putting aside this weekend to clean up around my place, put things in storage that are not being used and also add a few short, to the point lines, to my writing.  Unclutter!  Boy, the ideas that can be sparked by watching an episode of Oprah!

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